It has been entirely too long. I am not good at blogging but I TRULY hope to do better at it.
Lily is growing like a little sunflower. (weeds are ugly) She amazes me everyday. She is so smart and beautiful. I remember when I was young I would imagine myself as a mom with little kiddos. I NEVER imagined a prettier or smarter baby than what God has blessed us with. I also never imagine a father more loving than the one God led me to in Jacob. He is such a good daddy to his girl.
Lily is oing more and more everyday. She has been going to The Little Gym every Saturday. If you tell her "Tuck your head" she attempts to do a forward roll. She can only get one leg up though. She loves the balance beam but HATES the uneven bars. She loves to sing and dance. She is getting better and better at Itsy Bitsy Spider. She can point to her "button", nose, and ears. Nose is the hardest one for her. She can brush her hair and loves to do it. When it is nigh night time she grabs her baby and heads to her crib waving and blowing kisses the whole way. My little movie star. :D
She LOVES babies. she changes their clothes, changes their bottoms, bathes and feed them. She must carry them around the house. She reads to them, sleeps with them, kisses them. She is so cute!
She isn't even 14 months yet and she is already in 18 month clothes. She has a LONG torso like her momma. So bottoms fit smaller but anything length wise MUST be 18 months. :D
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Time has flown by... RECAP!
I have not been on for so long... I have been busy with this and busy with that.
Lily rolled over for the first time (in front of me) on December 1st! Her school said they had seen her doing it for a few days but I won't count those. LOL
Winter break is here and is just about over already. Crazy! Work and school restart on Monday. NO!!!! I'm not ready. I am loving my time with Jacob and Lily. I get to wake up and keep my smiley baby with me all day. It's like Heaven on Earth.
We went to the doctor on the 21st for her 4 month appointment. She is getting so big! 25 3/4" (75-90%) long and 14lbs 13 oz. (50-75%). But we also found out she has an ear infection. :( BOO
The 22nd was quite a day. I woke up to feed Lily around 6:30. I went in her room and heard a whimpering coming from our laundry room. Our dog Sugar has been sleeping in there in case her babies came. It sounded like there were 50 puppies in there the whimpering was so loud. I started yelling for Jacob to come see. (I am afraid of dogs. ) Jacob came and looked... 1! 1 puppy! It was a loud one though. So lots of gross details later.. She had 3 puppies. So we kept her in there all day with her puppies so that she could take care of them. She did a great job. just before bed I went in there to do some laundry and low and behold there were 2 more puppies!! Crazy dog. She had been in labor all day i guess. The vet said it was ok. So now we have Sug Sug, Maverick, and 5 little puppies. 1 girl and 4 boys.
Christmas Eve was fabulous. We went to our church's Christmas Eve Service. Lily slept the first half and woke up to poop herself. I quickly learned that the bathrooms in high schools are not equipped to change baby's diapers. LOL But the service was amazing and we saw Lily's little friend Molly from school. After the service we went to my parents' house for food and fun. Well Lily refuses to sleep any where but her own bed so we left before any real fun began.
Christmas morning was amazing. Jacob gave me my last present. And we went to my mom n dad's. Opened presents there then came home to make mashed potatoes. Then we headed to Great Grandma's and opened even more presents and ate delicious food. The boys played football and the women sat around and chatted like always. Good times. I found out my aunt Laurie also had thrombocytopenia when she was pregnant. Crazy!
Yesterday while giving her her ear medicine... I saw a little toofer poking through her bottom gum. I was so amazed! She is 19 weeks tomorrow and already teething. She isn't too fussy from it but she has been a little.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Time to get serious!!
So I joined the gym!! Have I went NO! I'm toos cared to go alone. But I am going today! No excuses!
Khloe did it and so can I!! Power to the big girls!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A good guy... who used to finish first..finishes last..again
So I have 3 brothers. 1 of them is an amazing 26 year old. He really is amazing. Sure he is opiniated and we dont always agree. But he is such a good hearted person.
And he alsways gets screwed over!! He is the kinda guy that will do anything for a girl. ANYTHING. He will forgive a girl for anything. He will work 12 hour days 7 days a week for a baby that's not even his. He will trust a girl regardless of her slorish antics.
Maybe that's why he always finishes last...
He finds these girls who see his caring and generosity as a weakness they can prowl on. A way to get what they need and split. They can see he is a little insecure when it comes to girls. They know they can take advantage of him.
But maybe its something else. Maybe its because he has seen bad relationships in his life. Maybe its because of all the slores in his past. Maybe its because of something even bigger..
Maybe he is running down a bad path. Running away from what he has always known. Maybe he is losing hope and it is getting too uncontrolable.
We used to attend church every weekend as kids. He stopped going in like 4th grade. I never really asked him about it. But slowly I began to see that he lost faith. He no longer believes in God. Maybe that darkness is making him sad. Making him settle for people who are not good for him. Making him not see the light in his future. That would be hard.
Im lucky not to have strayed from my father. Ive been down a bumpy road myself. With lots of paths leading to darkness. I think it was my faith.. my little light inside.. that kept me on the right path. I guess his light burnt out and... he chose a bad path.
What is a sister to do? I can only beg him to go back to church. I can only tell him that Jesus wants you to cast all that trouble on him. God is there for you to talk to when you feel that loneliness. He looks at me like I am crazy. Like I talk to the air. He really has lost his little light. And that makes me beyond sad. I guess I can pray about it.. not much else I can do.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Answered questions..
Last week I recieved an email from our church. Everyweek we get one. It tells about the lesson for the coming week. Usually I do not even open them, because I know we are not going to go. We have been searching for a new chuch.
But I opened it. And I read it. And I REALLY wanted to go. The message said that the founder of our church would be coming to tell about the passing of their daughter and how they are coping. I did not know them or the details of their daughter's passing. But death has always been scary to me. Not that I would die.. but my loved ones. And I always ask why would God let that happen when I hear tragic stories.
So we went to church today. And met the Stocker family. Well we met Todd, Kellie, and Maddie Stocker. Nathan was not there and neither was Mackenzie. I'm not sure where Nathan was, but Mackennzie was with the Lord. She was killed in a car accident at the VERY young age of 18. Although she was only 18 she had her life planned out. (The picture here is from her father's blog.)
She was beautiful! Not just physiclly but as a person. She had left behind 14 journals. Her mother read from one. While most girls write about gossip and sadness, Mackenzie's journal contained details of her relationship with God. How inspiring! She was an amazing dancer who even performed in New York. She was a great singer ( I saw her sing and dance on you tube.) She had such a bright future ahead of her as she was to graduate this December.
On June 3rd Macenzie was riding home with friends when their vehicle was t-boned. She died.
Hearing her family talk about how they are dealing with her death was inspirational to say the least. I have had moments in life where I question God. I wonder how he could let something happen or why. But this family who serves the lord everyday in everyway lost their oldest daughter in such a tragic way and still had faith. Amazing!
Mackenzie's mother said there was a moment when she said "Where was God?" Questioning why he let her daughter pass away. Her father, a pastor, had the answer. God was there!! It was written in God's plans for Mackenzie to enter his kingdom that day. Regardless of their desire to be with them. So as Mackenxie looked up from her text message she saw the Lord. Not the accident. She had died instantly. She went from hanging out with friends to hanging out with our Heavenly Father. And that is awesome.
I still had a question though.. Why? Why would God want such a young beautiful girl to die so young? To live such a short life when she had such a bright future here?
When we got home my husband and I discussed the testimony we had heard and all the questions we had. I googled her name to see if I could find answers. And I did. I found her father's blog. And on his blog I found a section where you can ask him questions. Even tough ones.
And I saw the question I had about why. Why so young?
Someone had relied. I will copy their post here as I can not say it any better myself.
Someone once told me that from God’s perspective our time on Earth is less than a blink. So from His point of view (eternity) 18 years is not much shorter than 100. That helped me. God wouldn’t be purposefully and arbitrarily cruel. It’s like me trying to explain to my 6 year old that missing her favorite cartoon will not be important to her 10 years from now (even though it feels like a tragedy) and my teenage students who have their hearts broken, that eventually they will look back from a different point of view. When we are in Heaven all together I hope I will then be able to look back and understand . . . from a different perspective.
And to that I say... Amen!
But I opened it. And I read it. And I REALLY wanted to go. The message said that the founder of our church would be coming to tell about the passing of their daughter and how they are coping. I did not know them or the details of their daughter's passing. But death has always been scary to me. Not that I would die.. but my loved ones. And I always ask why would God let that happen when I hear tragic stories.
So we went to church today. And met the Stocker family. Well we met Todd, Kellie, and Maddie Stocker. Nathan was not there and neither was Mackenzie. I'm not sure where Nathan was, but Mackennzie was with the Lord. She was killed in a car accident at the VERY young age of 18. Although she was only 18 she had her life planned out. (The picture here is from her father's blog.)
She was beautiful! Not just physiclly but as a person. She had left behind 14 journals. Her mother read from one. While most girls write about gossip and sadness, Mackenzie's journal contained details of her relationship with God. How inspiring! She was an amazing dancer who even performed in New York. She was a great singer ( I saw her sing and dance on you tube.) She had such a bright future ahead of her as she was to graduate this December.
On June 3rd Macenzie was riding home with friends when their vehicle was t-boned. She died.
Hearing her family talk about how they are dealing with her death was inspirational to say the least. I have had moments in life where I question God. I wonder how he could let something happen or why. But this family who serves the lord everyday in everyway lost their oldest daughter in such a tragic way and still had faith. Amazing!
Mackenzie's mother said there was a moment when she said "Where was God?" Questioning why he let her daughter pass away. Her father, a pastor, had the answer. God was there!! It was written in God's plans for Mackenzie to enter his kingdom that day. Regardless of their desire to be with them. So as Mackenxie looked up from her text message she saw the Lord. Not the accident. She had died instantly. She went from hanging out with friends to hanging out with our Heavenly Father. And that is awesome.
I still had a question though.. Why? Why would God want such a young beautiful girl to die so young? To live such a short life when she had such a bright future here?
When we got home my husband and I discussed the testimony we had heard and all the questions we had. I googled her name to see if I could find answers. And I did. I found her father's blog. And on his blog I found a section where you can ask him questions. Even tough ones.
And I saw the question I had about why. Why so young?
Someone had relied. I will copy their post here as I can not say it any better myself.
Someone once told me that from God’s perspective our time on Earth is less than a blink. So from His point of view (eternity) 18 years is not much shorter than 100. That helped me. God wouldn’t be purposefully and arbitrarily cruel. It’s like me trying to explain to my 6 year old that missing her favorite cartoon will not be important to her 10 years from now (even though it feels like a tragedy) and my teenage students who have their hearts broken, that eventually they will look back from a different point of view. When we are in Heaven all together I hope I will then be able to look back and understand . . . from a different perspective.
And to that I say... Amen!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Lillian's Birth Story
It just came to me that I should copy her birth story into a blog.. So here goes it!
Honestly I couldn't have planned it better. I guess maybe if she would have came on her due date. LOL
So Wednesday we were helping a friend put border up in her baby's nursery and I started having contractions. Nothing painful. So we went home and started timing them. They were 5 minutes apart but not really hurting me. It simply felt like I couldn't breathe as easily. I called the dr and they told me to go in to the hospital. So we did. The contraction monitor was broken so they had to get it changed out. (Twice) By the time they did my contractions were 6-7 minutes apart but a little painful. They gave me a shot of morphine and had me walk for an hour. They said don't let me find you giving birth on the stairs. So I decided to find the stairs! I was only 3 cm dialated. Nothing changed from walking so they sent me home with a sleeping pill.
I fell asleep immediately. But I woke up for every contraction. They got closer and closer and more and more painful. At like 5 am Thursday I suddenly threw up. So I called the hospital and it was still the same nurse. She told me to come in right away. So we went in and I was 4-5 cm with steady contractions. So they admitted me. They gave me a couple bags of IV fluid and steroids for my thrombocytopenia.
At 8:00 they started my epidural. I was having contractions but they were not too painful. I kept the epidural really low because I wanted to be able to move during the labor. My contractions didnt get any closer together on their own so they gave me 2 ccs or whatever of Pitocin. That helped. The nurse came in a couple hours later and I was contracting every 2 minutes. So she gave me 4 ccs of Pitocin and that really did it. The nurse came back in like an hour later and said they were one minute apart so she wanted to check me. She did the exam and said... We need the DR you are fully dialated but your water hasn't broke. So she called the dr.
The dr did the exam and broke my water in the process. I started pushing at like 1:00. Not really trying to get her out just to get her closer to out. I pushed on every third or fourth contraction. At 2:00 we started pushing a little more actively. They had me do different things like tug of war with a sheet, squatting with the bar etc. They had shut my epidural off so I was feeling the contractions but not really pain. The worst part was running out of breath. So they gave me an oxygen mask to use when I wanted. I thought she would never come out and even wanted to give up a little. But then they took my hand and I felt her head. That gave me all the energy int he world!!
At 2:53 she was born. I cried. Her daddy cried. And her Grandpa cried. It was amazing!! She got 9s on the Apgar both times and she really is perfect!! 7 lbs 13.6 ounces and 20.5 inches long!! God's gift to us!
Honestly I couldn't have planned it better. I guess maybe if she would have came on her due date. LOL
So Wednesday we were helping a friend put border up in her baby's nursery and I started having contractions. Nothing painful. So we went home and started timing them. They were 5 minutes apart but not really hurting me. It simply felt like I couldn't breathe as easily. I called the dr and they told me to go in to the hospital. So we did. The contraction monitor was broken so they had to get it changed out. (Twice) By the time they did my contractions were 6-7 minutes apart but a little painful. They gave me a shot of morphine and had me walk for an hour. They said don't let me find you giving birth on the stairs. So I decided to find the stairs! I was only 3 cm dialated. Nothing changed from walking so they sent me home with a sleeping pill.
I fell asleep immediately. But I woke up for every contraction. They got closer and closer and more and more painful. At like 5 am Thursday I suddenly threw up. So I called the hospital and it was still the same nurse. She told me to come in right away. So we went in and I was 4-5 cm with steady contractions. So they admitted me. They gave me a couple bags of IV fluid and steroids for my thrombocytopenia.
At 8:00 they started my epidural. I was having contractions but they were not too painful. I kept the epidural really low because I wanted to be able to move during the labor. My contractions didnt get any closer together on their own so they gave me 2 ccs or whatever of Pitocin. That helped. The nurse came in a couple hours later and I was contracting every 2 minutes. So she gave me 4 ccs of Pitocin and that really did it. The nurse came back in like an hour later and said they were one minute apart so she wanted to check me. She did the exam and said... We need the DR you are fully dialated but your water hasn't broke. So she called the dr.
The dr did the exam and broke my water in the process. I started pushing at like 1:00. Not really trying to get her out just to get her closer to out. I pushed on every third or fourth contraction. At 2:00 we started pushing a little more actively. They had me do different things like tug of war with a sheet, squatting with the bar etc. They had shut my epidural off so I was feeling the contractions but not really pain. The worst part was running out of breath. So they gave me an oxygen mask to use when I wanted. I thought she would never come out and even wanted to give up a little. But then they took my hand and I felt her head. That gave me all the energy int he world!!
At 2:53 she was born. I cried. Her daddy cried. And her Grandpa cried. It was amazing!! She got 9s on the Apgar both times and she really is perfect!! 7 lbs 13.6 ounces and 20.5 inches long!! God's gift to us!
I know this says 20" but the card they gave us says 20.5 and that is what they told us.. so IDK y the difference. :)
Self-Improvement Plan
Lately all I want to do is be a better me. I see myself attempting so many improvements in various aspects of my life.
- God- I am attempting to improve my relationship with God. Not that it is bad. But he is kinda like a friend you take advantage of. You know they are always there and you call them when you need them. I want a more constant consistent relationship with Him. One that my daughter will see and hopefully have the same.
- School- I start my Masters courses October 20th and I am so stoked. I never wanted a masters because the benefits did not out weigh the cost. However... the stars aligned and I found all the money with out paying a dime out of pocket! Plus, I found a program that I think will really benefit my life both professionally and personally.
- Physical- I joined the gym today! I did it all by myself. That is new to me. I have never joined a gym by myelf it was always with a friend. And when I would go I would play around the whole time. Childish I know! So I am excited to attend my first class and hopefully take it seriously. My goal- A fabulous six pack by Monday. Ya right! 15 pounds by April. Really that is PLENTY of time so if I don't then I didn't try. Hopefully I will do it sooner than that. :)
- Diet- Let's start small! I am not drinking soda anymore. I do still drink tea. But I hear that soda makes your legs get extra cottage cheesy so.. No Mas!
- Other- I quit biting my nails!! Usually when I quit it's because I popped my fake ones off and the underneeth ones are long- and paper thin. So I am excited because this time they are thick and strong and growing fast! Hopefully this is the last time I have to quit!
So hopefully all my improvements are as awesome as I think they are!!